i die again

Bits and pieces comeback to the mind

That is currently in chaos,

Things get blurred in between the lines said,

It is not me, I heard people say.

It is him, so the blame is all his.

I thought that this is the familiar ground

The ground that I danced upon not long time ago?

It’s definitely blurry now,

Can’t anyone volunteering helping hand?

The loneliness seems inevitable to me now,

They said I’m strong. No I am certainly not.

With leftover will, I will myself to move,

Not wanting to rot at the spot.

Feeling what I shouldn't be feeling.

Dizzying. Rolling. Lurching.

And stop.

Where is the face that I knew?

What is this place that I once called paradise?

It is all strangely unfamiliar and disturbing.

Get away now.

Get away from me.

I cannot see you.

Get away from me.

I hate you.

And for the tenth times,

I heard my name being called upon.

Thus I charged my heart to obey this once.

The only thing I remembered was a shiny silver lining,

In between my eyes. Straight through my heart.